Pre perks feelings.

nervous about seeing perks.

partially because I don't want to look it through a different perspective now that I am 16. I read the book when I was 13, and remember how incredibly moved I was by it.

Cooped up in my bathroom, I remember feeling lonely and sad, being in a place where I knew I didn't really belong. It literally felt as if the book was a friend telling me to be happy again. To be back 

But I've grown now. 

My sadness has shifted to different things, my mind had moved into different directions - I have much thicker skin, a broader mind and I empathize with Charlie a lot less. I know longer feel as if I am a Wallflower.

What if I don't see it as something that helped me because in my current situation, it no longer helps me?

I don't want Charlie's anxiety and sadness to be romanticized by teenagers who see sadness as beautiful. I don't want this movie to think that to be ''infinite'' is to be reckless and to have an indie soundtrack be played in the background while you get drunk or  even having a Sam and a Patrick as your company. 

I want to feel the same emotion I felt when I first picked up this book.

I am in no way worried about anything regarding the production of the movie - Casting is superb, Chbosky wrote and directed it himself, the whole thing is very authentic - filmed in the same locations in the book. I am also not one of those arrogant assholes who believes that movie adaptations have to be a replica of the book. It's an adaption, not a recreation. Films are no good if they don't take  on a new visual - bring it into a world we haven't seen it.

I'm just scared I won't feel the same nostalgia and pain and emotion and most of importantly, hope that I felt when reading the book.