#BEDJ3 Now you're just a bunch of old scrunched up letters.

Dear you,

It's funny because in reality, you should be insignificant. Not in a negative sense, either. You just shouldn't be crossing my mind as much as you do. You are just someone who is a snapshot of a time period. Not even a time period where I was ridiculously happy, either.  You're not meant to be in my mind.

But you are.

You sit there among a shelf of maybe memories. Half moments in time, silly spoken sentences, points where I should have changed the variables - and it bugs me. It bugs me that whatever I do there will always be aspects I know I should have changed. I find myself contemplating every word we ever said spoke. Even more so, I think of all the words I didn't say.

 Take me back to that exact awkward afternoon and I'll be better this time.

I shed away the layers of myself to find the one I think you most liked.  I don't think it's there. Or that  it was ever there.

Lucy

Dear you,

''Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and you are all alone.''

I feel as if people so desperately want you to adopt the identity of the 'funny person' all the time, that they forget to think of the other parts of you. They expect you to be theatrical, entertaining - and while undeniably you are - It annoys me that's what all people seem to want of you. You are such an incredible amount more, a wonderful thinker with an even more wonderful outlook and I hope, and in a lot of ways I know, people will really see that.

Is it cheesy to thank you for the solace you've provided me?  I don't know. But you're the cat on a hot tin roof that will jump off and jump off in to really exciting and incredible things. And I hope I am around to see it.

Lucy

Dear you,

We make a fantastic team. Most days I find myself marvelling in the fact we make such a good team. We're like the avengers, man. (Except we're really nothing like them)

For all the shared silences, times where we didn't need to speak.  They gave me a chance to be alone with my thoughts while providing me with a sense of company. For all the consumed food that although don't improve my health, improve my attitude.  You allowed me to not care about my appearance. For all the common ground that we have that not only reinforce my sanity, but let me know, my mind is a puzzle piece that can connect with others. For every step we have walked together, even when we weren't just walking by foot. For back when we were hurling ourselves against grass just to feel the softness of it, picturing clouds to look like harmless animals, chasing burnt out orange leaves which danced in the winds like we were chasing roaring fire.

Thank you.

I know that we won't always have our team but it doesn't so much matter. It's sad, but it's not like it isn't there. Even when we don't speak, you're always there. Thank you.

Lucy (Crystal 2)

Dear you,

I didn't know you very well, but I don't forget you.

Lucy


Music for the blogpost

I Don't Think About You Anymore, But I Don't Think About You Anyless - The Hungry Ghosts
Dear Old House That I grew Up In - Amanda Palmer
Ghost Town - First Aid Kit
Poison Oak - Bright Eyes